The weather is turning to Mom’s favorite time of the year—spring. I imagine for most people it’s the same. Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about Mom. It is probably because it is coming up on her six month anniversary of her passing. For whatever reason, I worry about things like will I get to a point where I will forget what she looks like? I think to myself, no way, I’m crazy. But could it happen? I keep saying this over and over again. I miss her, oh how I miss her. It’s the small things that we used to do that I miss—sitting across from her outside on the patio, going for one of our walks, talking on the phone. I can go on and on.
One good thing, I’m not crying as much; just feeling the loss every day. I tell myself that it’s going to get better. I will think and talk about Mom less and less every day. Well, I really don’t know when and if that will ever be the case. I know that I’ll never forget Mom but in time I will move one with this grief.
Every day is different, like a roller coaster up and down. I’m also learning to accept triggers. When they happen, I try to accept it head on and then let it go. Remembering Mom and her illness and how dementia made life so miserable for her, how every day she fought this terrible disease, not knowing what was going on.
I thank God that Mom is now free of dementia and has no more confusion. I know Mom is walking with the Lord in peace. Keep smiling Mom and I promise you I will do the same. But I assure you, I will never forget your beautiful face. I love you.
