With the weather being so perfect, I find myself at the nursery more often. These last few days especially I’m walking by all the beautiful colors of flowers. I can just hear Mom saying,
“Get some of those and, oh yes, get some of those too,” and we would walk out with a truck load of flowers, dirt and fertilizer.
We’d laugh so hard because we would look at each other and say, “Beautiful flowers in the ground today and no money to pay for food. But, oh boy, how beautiful the yard is going to look.”
I remember Mom use to call me in the dead of winter and in her dementia mind she would say, “Come on Baby, let’s go get some marigolds.”
“It’s not time Mom,” I’d tell her. “Let’s go get some hot coffee at Starbucks and goodies. It’s too cold outside for planting flowers.”
I think I miss just doing things with her more than anything. Her dementia came too fast. It’s funny. At times her dementia brought some beauty and comfort. I can hear her now, “Come on, let’s get those flowers in the ground.” She always thought she was living in our beautiful home in Hawaii. Why would I change her mind and spoil it for her?
Mother’s Day is less than a month away, and a lot of emotions are surfacing with me now. Not to mention that it has been six months since Mom’s passing. However, I’m going to continue to concentrate on good memories and take everything one day at a time. “Baby,” I can just hear her, “One day at a time.”
Mom’s love lives on. Because I love her so much there will be tears, because we laughed there will be beautiful memories of flowers, and because we lived there will still be so much joy. In the dictionary dementia means mental deterioration, but in our eyes it also means the slow, stealing of one’s life. I know for sure that wherever you are today, you have a perfect mind and you are in great peace. I love you more, Mom.
Tags: caregiving, dementia, flowers
